You've almost certainly heard the term. If you know older adoptees, you may have discovered that they know little to nothing about their birth parents. This is known as closed adoption, and it was the standard for most adoptions for a long time in the United States.

While adoptions can be still handled that way, it has become much more normal to have open adoptions. This is where the adopted child is aware that they are adopted, as well as knowing some amount about their birth parents and occasionally having some kind of contact with their birth mother. (Sometimes, also, the birth father, but this is rarer.)

The actual shape this relationship takes can vary wildly from family to family, and it depends on a lot of things. How comfortable the birth parents are being involved, how far away the birth parents live, how comfortable the adoptive family is with the birth parents, and so on. Sometimes the relationships are really intense and fall away, sometimes they're more or less nonexistent.

Why do people do them, then?

Well, it seems to be good for the kids. It eliminates the mystery in the equation, first off, giving them access to a family history they might not otherwise have. With many open adoptive relationships, the adopted kids will be able to speak to their birth family about why they were given up for adoption if they need to have that conversation. It also allows children of a different ethnicity than their adoptive parents to have a link to their heritage and resources in that way. Even for small stuff, like how to maintain ethnic hair, this can make a world of difference.

It's also more comforting to the birth parents and makes them more open to the possibility of adopting in the first place. There are lots of reasons why a person may choose to give a child up for adoption, but the idea of handing a baby to someone else and then never hearing from them again, not knowing if they're doing well or are happy, is a big obstacle to adopting out. If birth parents know that they can, at the very least, check-in from time to time, or get birthday pictures, even send presents and get updates, it makes it much easier for them to go through a difficult process.

Open adoption is not right for every family, but many of the families who have chosen it do not regret their decision.

To learn more information, reach out to open adoption services near you.

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