If you are considering marriage counseling for yourself and your husband, then you may want to think about whether you need counseling or not. While some couples understand their needs and want an outside perspective on their relationship, some signs of a rocky relationship are not so obvious. If you want to learn about some of the less obvious signs, then keep reading.

You Stop Fighting

Couples fight out of frustration and anger and when they simply do not understand their spouse. Fights are not only common, but they are often healthy for a relationship so that strong emotions are not "bottled up" and kept inside. 

Once you stop fighting though, then this may be a sign that you are heading down a path of serious relationship troubles. This is especially true if you and your partner hardly talk anymore. This is commonly referred to as a communication breakdown. If you find yourself discussing only the necessary daily tasks and finances, then either you or your partner has become emotionally withdrawn.

Emotional withdrawal can lead to hurt feelings, and it may also be associated with fears of rejection and the possibility of tempers flaring. Fears of judgment, avoidance of tough situations, and preparation for the termination of the relationship are also reasons why there may be a communication breakdown.

Talking in a safe space where yelling and blaming are avoided is a good option to ensuring the emotional stability of your relationship. 

You Keep Secrets

If you find yourself keeping secrets from your spouse instead of talking with them, then this may also be a serious sign of difficulties. While some minor and meaningless secrets are acceptable and may be healthy to retain independence and privacy in a relationship, major secret keeping is not healthy. This is true when it comes to both magnitude and frequency.

Secrecy is a way that you may avoid sharing happiness or experience with your spouse, and it may also be an avoidance technique to prevent fights. 

Secrets can lead to resentment, hurt feelings, and a lack of trust. In some cases, trust cannot be regained.

If you are willing to share your secrets with your partner, then speak with a counselor who will allow for healthy communication in relation to your disclosures. Keep in mind that the counselor can help you to explore the reasoning behind the secret keeping and can even help couples to identify compromises so that secrets are not necessary in the future. 

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